As far as we're concerned, the fav columnist toss is between Danforth, Sturm, Nitze, Advice Goddess and Lorenzo Semple.
For this week, Semple wins. (Read the whole thing..)
"Growing up in a small town like Aspen is cool because you know all the cops. Sure, we ran from them (still do), and got in trouble all the time, but I can’t recall ever being compelled to swear at a cop. Not to mention there’s way more creative ways to get under a policeman’s skin — verbally that is. See me in my office — Highlands Bowl — for a detailed list. All of them will work against your favor, guaranteed.
Swear words, phrases and such are fabric of our language and pop culture, but they also are like spices in the food we eat — too much can leave a bad taste in your mouth. Not to mention cussing shows a lack of intellect. That’s probably why I curse so much. It’s because you just can’t come up with another word. It makes you sound stupid. Regardless, it’s all protected free speech. The line of legalese becomes more blurry when these words are used with the intent of causing a violent reaction.
But when done right, a four-letter word can sound romantic, renegade, jubilant, contrarian and altogether appropriate. The comedian George Carlin was famous for his “Seven Dirtiest Words” skit. It’s a real knee-slapper. For some reason I’m particularly impressed when elderly people swear; toddlers and women too. Swearing in songs can pack a punch also, when done right. There’s a song by the Sex Pistols called “Bodies” that’s a good example of this. I always respected the stubborn artists who wouldn’t alter the lyrics of their songs for more exposure on the radio.
The “F bomb” is one of the most versatile words in the English language. It can be used as a noun, a verb, an adjective, an adverb, an exclamation and a question. “Scarface” taught me that back in high school. I remember seeing the “F bomb” scratched on a bathroom stall in the Yellow Brick lower elementary school. It stood perfectly on its own, probably because the kid who put it there was actually incapable of writing anything else.
Thanks to our Constitution, these words are protected. Freedom of speech and thought are the foundation blocks of America. Try telling that to my grandmother. She was more interested in cleansing bad words from my mouth at an early age. I was in first grade at the time when I decided to push the envelope a little bit and try out a word in front of her. The word is totally innocuous — so much so that I can write it here now, even in a highly conservative publication such as this. The word in question: Kaka. It means poop, doo-doo, dookie, number two. I said that word in front of her while playing with plastic army men in the courtyard behind her apartment. It was a huge mistake.
She grabbed me by the arm and yanked me into the air, dragged me right into the kitchen and washed my mouth out with Ivory soap.."
(Lorenzo Semple)
(Learn more? Click title or comment to start discussion)
6 comments:
Oh, the memories.
It wasn't my granny, it was 22, tb75 and battlementmom's mother and my 'mom', Lolly that struck the fear of the almighty into my soul.
Still does. My God, with just one look that woman can bring me to my knees saying my prayers.
22 and I could float we've sucked down so much Ivory soap. And you don't want to know of our fears that we would have permanently red buttocks.
I've never sworn at a cop. They're armed. Wanted to once or twice, but the thought of what Lolly would do to me stopped that cold.
The way I recall it, my baby brother wasn't responsible for any of it.
That honor went all to you.
as evidenced, you don't want to look astance with a cop in aspen---unless your driving a range rover. they are the enforcing fascists, especially if you're poor.
And we only learned from the very best bro.
Aspen city pd aren't the "enforcing fascists" anon.
They just got lost for quite a few yrs following Braudis' idea of community policing.
Noticing lately that Pryor has them coming down off that pedestal and really starting to get to know all the folks not just the ones living in the dregs or in Starwood.
Lots of good things happening in Aspen since Special Agent Jim Schrant came to town.
And just look at how well the two of you turned out.
If we had more woodshed visits for kids and kids mouths washed out with Ivory, we wouldn’t have half the problems we have with teen drinking, pregnancy, drugs. They’d have a work ethic and be glad to be in school. We’re getting back around in lots of ways to parenting like our parents and grandparents did. Can’t help but wonder when we’ll start seeing the benefits of that in society and move past the multiple generations parented with the “let them be free to express with no consequences it’s the only way they learn” belief.
Post a Comment