(sigh..rolls eyes...)
Ok, 'kids'.
You haven't had homework in some time.
Nanny senses some passive-aggressive angst seeping out from the PI in this news article on Sheriff Lou.
How about, before it gets out-of-hand again, 'Ace Investigative Reporters, American Patriots!', gets to the bottom of this news on Sheriff Lou's budget?
Bring back the real story of what happened to put this routine annual budget evaluation into headline news over at the PI.
Ready? Set? Go!
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"Truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident."
8 comments:
"BOCC attempts to strike Fear of God into local Sheriff"
sub:
Jankovsky to Vallario: "Just don't let wildfire hit Garco in this budget cycle. You're the Sheriff, aren't you?"
C'mon, Lou. Suck it up. Looks like your back page of the PI glory days are gone.
No more PR for saving that woman birthing quads from a blazing inferno while shooting the arsonist with your free hand.
All that great back page PR couldn't last forever and you know it. So suck it up.
Take out the wildfire money and make those deputies ride the roads and camp trails, shooting down anybody with a camp fire. Put Hollywood on God Duty. Making sure there's no lightening strikes trying to light a spark. And for god's sake whatever you do, ride herd over those Downtown Market gals and their open flame booths. No more of that, we got no money to fight fires.
What are you talking about anyway, Lou? Saying you can't predict emergencies? For good gosh sakes, you're the local God around here, aren't you? Isn't what that front page harping from Fong is just sayin? What do you mean you can't predict emergencies in order to prevent them and save the money?
My heart is broke, Lou.
You're my idol. How can you let us down like this?
Ace Investigative Reporters, American Patriots! have just arrived on the scene unfolding at the Garfield County Road and Bridge shop.
“I’m telling you, those are our orders. From now on, I roll only in the BearCat. I am now to be called God. You will address me as God.” said one Cool Looking Man in Oakleys to The Shop Guy.
“Sir, could you please tell this reporter who you are?” asked FCE, Ace Investigative reporter, with her eyes wide and an awe struck tone. “Are you, could you be, are you…Hollywood?”
The Cool Looking Man in Oakleys turned slowly, held a long pause, pushed up his sunglasses and said with a half-smile “Yes, I was. Now, on direct orders from Commissioner Jankovsky, I am known as God.”
“And let me guess who you might be. Would you be the avatar known as ‘babe’?
“I’m sorry, Mr. God. But we never give away our identities. Unless of course you need to see my ID I mean I would never oh I’m sorry I just said that is it hot in here..(audible gulping sound)”
With raised eyebrow and now a full smirk, ‘God’ said “Understood. How can I help you?”
“Yes, right, sure. OK. Um..we got a news tip that there might be a new wildfire policy in Garfield County that’s coordinating with area drug and gang operations. Could you tell us more? Can you confirm that Sheriff Lou has his feet held to the fire over his budget and now we have no money to fight wildfires?”
“Might as well tell her, “Mr. God” (throat clearing, some coughing and choking sounds heard in background) that’s the nosy one.” said, The Shop Guy.
“How would you like me to show you and your camera crew instead? We’ve got word there’s an issue with some hunters not backing down to the new martial law against campfires up on the mesa. You can ride with me. I’ll explain the new way of life in Garfield County on the way up.”
Before this reporter could say yes, her camera team had yanked the mike out of her hand, rolled up the camera equipment and pushed her toward the BearCat.
“C’mon, hurry up. He’s God and he might change his mind” hissed Camera Guy.
Check back in for breaking news updates!
The Bearcat, huh?
Good report, FCE.
Find out what those portable utility packs are that I see all the deputies running around with on their backs.
Looks a bit like fire extinguishers.
lol. extinguishers.
find out why Lou's been camped out on the floor in front of the commissioners ever since the last meeting too.
oh, yea. don't you be getting into that bearcat with hollywood without a whole bunch of chaperones either.
sent from my verizon blackberry
"Ace Reporter, FCE is on the scene at County Road and Bridge as we prepare to embed ourselves as the exclusive reporters allowed on the hunt for fire starting perps.
Garfield County Sheriff Lou Vallario is rumored to have had no choice but to declare a state of martial law in Garco. Following a perceived mandate from Garfield County Commissioner Tom Jankovsky that seizes all of the Sheriff's budget for emergencies and fire-fighting; Vallario was heard to have said this:
"I've got no choice. We're cops. We have to uphold the law and the safety of our citizens. If I go letting the hunters and campers and downtown grill ladies have open flames, we're just asking for trouble. We've taken measures."
In our last report, we shared with you, dear readers, that Garfield County's very own 'Hollywood' is now serving Garco as..God. This reporter finds herself feeling much more comfortable to call him Mr. God as he is rather imposing.
Mr. God's duties include the oversight of all natural acts that could force an emergency on the citizens of Garco. He is ordered by the Sheriff to force all such acts to 'stand down'. Additional duties apparently include oversight of all field deputies now patrolling the trails and backroads of our county in search of bad people using fire to stay warm or cook their food.
Told by Mr. God that we were to 'gear up', all this reporter could find to wear is a rather ugly camo outfit, a tacky looking, hair crushing helmet and boots that are certainly not all that comfortable.
Just arriving on the staging scene is a long line of Garco Sheriff deputies in their units. A roll call is scheduled at noon today.
We will bring you live updates from this exciting scene!
Not sure what I said wrong, Nanny that got my other comment booted on this one.
Hey, I hear they think the hunters causing the trouble with the campfire ban are Couey and Jolley. Also heard the deputies are running hot trying to get to the scene but it's tough to do because Jankovsky took away their seasonal tire changes. Now they're packing in all those fire extinguishers by hand doing doubletime up the mesa from a distance.
Man, I wouldn't want to be Couey or Jolley right now.
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