Paul Anderson:
"Visitation at Conundrum Hot Springs is going to spike this summer as black bears flock to the wilderness, where half a dozen cows were fast-frozen last winter in their own walk-in cooler.
Raw beef and hot pools: That's the definition of a bear spa if I ever heard one. Those lucky omnivores can dine and dip to their hearts' content as they gather for a smorgasbord luring every bruin within range of smell.
But first a crew of hangdog cowhands had to remove the hibernal Herefords from their timberline tomb, slice and dice them into bite-size pieces and scatter the foul and bloody remains.
Stephen King can popularize the operation in a grisly novel. Hollywood studios can pitch the idea to hungry producers: “It's the Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets cattle mutilations meets Butcher Class 101! Think of the product spinoffs!”
Aspen won't have a bear problem this summer, but Conundrum Hot Springs sure will. Once a free feed is put on, bears are not likely to forget it. The potential for bear/human encounters will be epic for years to come. Where else will you be able to share a hot spring with a real live bear? The marketing possibilities are endless: “Get bear at Conundrum!....” (Read more? Click title)
"Unapologetically pursuing and tracking patterns within the news others make since 2010."
Showing posts with label cows at Conundrum Hot Springs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cows at Conundrum Hot Springs. Show all posts
April 21, 2012
SandBoxBlogs: Aspen Daily News "Cash cow"
Lorenzo Semple:
"Our town heritage is deeply rooted in blowing things up, particularly from the mining days of yore. The sound of explosions has an oddly soothing effect on me — among other things it reminds me that it’s a powder day. The sound of a loud explosion also reminds me of my troubled youth, blowing up just about anything imaginable.
Boys are fascinated with explosives. It’s an almost primordial instinct to blow things up. My oldest sister had this incredibly annoying collection of plastic horses that were among her most prized possessions. I was always tempted to blow them up. If I found one now I still might. If you’re a guy and you don’t like to blow things up, check your pulse.
Growing up here, the wild West End was a testing ground for our various explosives: M-80s, Molotov cocktails, bottle rockets, match-head bombs, spice jars filled with black powder with a sparkler rammed into them, and French quarter-sticks of dynamite. It’s a miracle I still have all my fingers. Some local kids made a deadly pipe bomb that almost killed an innocent bystander — a half-mile away.
I’ve been real tempted to skin up to Conundrum (not so) Hot Springs and take a look at the cow situation up there — it’s what all the locals are talking about lately. Even the national media has gotten a hold of this story.
As far as we can tell from news reports, there are several dead cows stuck inside the old cabin up at Conundrum. The quandary is what to do with them. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if someone trapped them in the cabin intentionally with the sole intent and purpose of blowing them up.
Some want to dig a hole and bury the cows, with dignity. I heard there’s someone on the local force that digs a mean hole, maybe they could help? An environmentalist recommended sprinkling pheromones on them and letting the pine beetles devour the carcasses. Someone suggested a predator drone strike, raining hellfire missiles onto the already grotesque cabin scene.
Another freak suggested hiring a few Colombian coke dealers — as in the movie “Scarface” — and sending them up there with chainsaws to get the job done. No can do, I say. Way too macabre, and it clearly violates the stringent USFS Wilderness Area rules — Section 7, Article 12: No Colombian coke dealers with chainsaws allowed in the backcountry..." (Read more? Click title)
"Unapologetically pursuing and tracking patterns within the news others make since 2010."
"Our town heritage is deeply rooted in blowing things up, particularly from the mining days of yore. The sound of explosions has an oddly soothing effect on me — among other things it reminds me that it’s a powder day. The sound of a loud explosion also reminds me of my troubled youth, blowing up just about anything imaginable.
Boys are fascinated with explosives. It’s an almost primordial instinct to blow things up. My oldest sister had this incredibly annoying collection of plastic horses that were among her most prized possessions. I was always tempted to blow them up. If I found one now I still might. If you’re a guy and you don’t like to blow things up, check your pulse.
Growing up here, the wild West End was a testing ground for our various explosives: M-80s, Molotov cocktails, bottle rockets, match-head bombs, spice jars filled with black powder with a sparkler rammed into them, and French quarter-sticks of dynamite. It’s a miracle I still have all my fingers. Some local kids made a deadly pipe bomb that almost killed an innocent bystander — a half-mile away.
I’ve been real tempted to skin up to Conundrum (not so) Hot Springs and take a look at the cow situation up there — it’s what all the locals are talking about lately. Even the national media has gotten a hold of this story.
As far as we can tell from news reports, there are several dead cows stuck inside the old cabin up at Conundrum. The quandary is what to do with them. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if someone trapped them in the cabin intentionally with the sole intent and purpose of blowing them up.
Some want to dig a hole and bury the cows, with dignity. I heard there’s someone on the local force that digs a mean hole, maybe they could help? An environmentalist recommended sprinkling pheromones on them and letting the pine beetles devour the carcasses. Someone suggested a predator drone strike, raining hellfire missiles onto the already grotesque cabin scene.
Another freak suggested hiring a few Colombian coke dealers — as in the movie “Scarface” — and sending them up there with chainsaws to get the job done. No can do, I say. Way too macabre, and it clearly violates the stringent USFS Wilderness Area rules — Section 7, Article 12: No Colombian coke dealers with chainsaws allowed in the backcountry..." (Read more? Click title)
"Unapologetically pursuing and tracking patterns within the news others make since 2010."
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