SandBox Comments: Intellectual Conservative "Interference of the Tortious Kind This Way Comes"

"Politicians who interfere with the building of the oil pipeline are really committing tortious acts, even though they suffer immunity as members of Congress.

Politicians are wicked beasts. Some people believe this is due to their lack of a moral compass. The truth however is that these heinous creatures do indeed have a moral compass. However it operates on a reverse polarity from reality and points as far away from true north as possible. This causes them to predictably do what is exactly the wrong thing in any given situation except by some sheer preponderance of luck brought on by the proper alignment of the planets in the solar system...."

(J.J. Jackson)

 

(Read more?  Click title.  Comment to discuss)

"Truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident."

SandBox Comments: State of Elections "CO (secret ballots): Colorado’s super-secret ballots"

"Colorado is currently in the midst of a heated legal dispute over whether images of local ballots should be made available for public scrutiny in an election dispute. The controversy started in 2009, when Marilyn Marks lost the Aspen city mayoral election to Mick Ireland. Marks petitioned to view images of the anonymous ballots (sometimes referred to as TIFF files), but the city denied her request.

She then filed suit in state court under the Colorado Open Records Act (CORA), but the district court ruled against her. She appealed to the Colorado Court of Appeals, which reversed the lower court in September of this year, holding that the contents of the ballots should be released.

The substance of the issue is that the city contends that the images constitute ballots, and thus are barred from public release by the provision of Colorado’s constitution which protects the secrecy of ballots as well as local regulations as to the disposal of ballots. The Court of Appeals’ holding rejected both of these arguments, holding that the images are not ballots, and that the state constitutional protection only extends to the identity of the voter, not to the substance of the ballot. The court summarized its holding as follows..."
(Wesley Moore)


(Read more?  Click title.  Comment to discuss)

SandBox Comments: Eagle County Times "Cordillera Golf Club litigation heats up"

Avatars in commentary have been pretty hard on the Wilhelm Family up in Cordillera.

No doubt, this is a just lawsuit in many ways.  As managers, especially of construction development in Cordillera, these guys really do belong in the same leagues as the construction set and architect that ran right over the top of Scott DeGraff over in Snowmass and Aspen.  They make the concept of 'unjust enrichment' have a whole new depth of meaning.

But so far, commentators in the construction industry have not said too much about the owners raising the most 'smell' up in Cordillera.

Maybe the time has come for avatars who cross over from Aspen to Vail to start speaking up a bit and level out the playing field for the Wilhelm Family.  In light of the recent press coverage on Base Village, that seems appropriate to do.

There are some crossovers of a few names from Cordillera Homeowners to really, really big projects such as Dancing Bear and Base Village. 

Unjust enrichment is usually a major factor in hurting scapegoats.  And there is no doubt that in a few ways, the Wilhelm Family are scapegoats.

Unjust enrichment is one thing.  But tortious interference is much, much worse.  Criminal in nature if the interference runs deep enough, carries out over extended periods of time or is a pattern that can be proven.

The sad part of the Cordillera mess are all those homeowners, outside of the at least three 'crossovers', that are also the victims.  Same as the scapegoats are.

Exactly how deep did District Attorney Mark Hurlbert really look?  Or was he erring only on the side of the elite, wealthy homeowners?

"For those who are not legally minded, the act of tortious interference is when a party, the tortfeasor, moves to convince another party to breach a contract. It also occurs when the tortfeasor intentionally disrupts the wherewithal of a party to meet its obligations under a contract...."
(J.J. Jackson)

(Read all about how things are heating up, for everybody, over in Cordillera?  Click title.)

"Truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident."

SandBox Comments: Eagle County Times "Vail Mountain’s – Avalanche Rescue Dog "Henry""

Good boy, Henry!

"Henry” is a seasoned Avalanche Rescue professional.

So is his owner and partner in training – Chris ‘Mongo’ Reeder who works as a Ski Patrol Supervisor on Vail Mountain...."
(ECT)

(Read more?  Meet Henry? Click title. )

SandBox Comments: Aspen Daily News/Johnny Boyd "The more things change, the more they stay the same"

Don't worry, all you followers of SandBox who're not familiar with the Boyd aka Johnny aka the Snomasokist.

He'll grow on you.

Sometimes like the spread of a case of gout.  Or a case of hives.

Sometimes like a warm, fuzzy blankie on a cold winter day.  Or like a straight shot of excellent tequila after the initial shock dissipates.

So true.

"The more things change, the more they stay the same."

(Ready to meet Johnny on an uncensored print news media?  Click title.  Comment to discuss)

"Truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident."

SandBox Comments: Aspen Daily News "Former columnist not a river resident"

First, a thank you to Dave Danforth and the editorial staff for listening to the folks, after taking their pulse on a regular basis.

It's terrific to have new op-ed offerings and fresh views.

Oh, how the folks wish that (insert word here) retentive 'other' newspaper in Aspen would do same.   But alas, never to be.  (...do they even know  that the people who read them are alive and do have a pulse??)

Second, here we are again on the topic of disinformation in the hands of tools that are powerful.  Doesn't matter if those 'tools' are a person or a method of communication.  In the case of Jack Johnson, heaven only knows what 'power' he holds. 

Since readership really does have a pulse, does that readership think they could stand alone on some semblance of ethics and principle by not  buying into any information unless it's final  verified?  For goodness sake, go get your daily fix of smut and gossip by picking up the National Enquirer.  Leave your neighbors alone.

Lastly, let's weigh in on Connie Harvey's columns and give a balance to Jay Cowan's letter to the editor today.

This is a case of the Daily moving on.  And another case of an intervention by the folks. 

Slowly but surely the people keep stripping away the layers of disinformation that keep trying to cling to the old school of thought that 'anything goes'. 

We have far too many eco-pen 'hitman' columnists in this valley, Connie.  It would have been so very nice to get at least a little bit of balance out of your work.  Best to you as you move on too.

(Read the letters?  Click title and link.  Comment to discuss)

"Truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident." 

SandBox Comments: Glenwood Springs Post Independent "Glenwood Springs may consider hiring economic development director"

SandBox commentary on the news itself is found at the end of this post.

To listen to the work sessions and the council meeting for yourself, click here.  Timing for the City of Glenwood Springs to get the feed posted up runs anywhere from a day or two after the meeting to roughly 10 days to 2 weeks.

Let's comment first, for a moment, on a 'hypothetical' situation.

Let us fantasize that just maybe there really, really is a very large group of citizens and business folks in the 81601 zip code that are fed-up with the handling of public funds, the ways, means and methods of promoting our largest industry of tourism (and) thoroughly disappointed in the stewardship by our elected and hired leaders of our local economic strengths and growth.

Remember now, this is a 'hypothetical' 'fantasy' that such 'people' really do exist.  We 'know' for 'absolute certainty' because "facts" and "credible news" and "credible" people in "positions of trust" 'tell' 'us' that there really is "no such group" and that "only one level of discourse" exists in 81601.  Backing 'them' up are the 'few elite' and the 'propoganda' that "confirms" that for 'us'. 

In our 'fantasy' this morning, this group of citizens that may or may not really exist,  pick up their free copy of the morning paper.

What is the likely question that first pops into their mind?

Could it possibly be a WTH?  Or maybe:  "Are we ever, ever going to have any credible press releases or news reporting that doesn't completely destroy all the hard work of the folks?"

Remember now, this 'hypothetical fantasy' is coming from the viewpoint of people who have to live day in and day out in the true economic reality of 81601. Not that partially disclosed, rose-colored cheerleader version that's usually in the morning paper.  These people are the ones that carry all the weight of every disappointing performance and failed stewardship of duty from our leaders.

SandBox comments this morning:  "Chances are, after so many years of little but propaganda, hard knock of criticism after hard knock and the last 10 months or so of obvious struggle to break entrenched habits not getting the job done of eliminating that vexation of the folks; 'probably not'.

Mr. Stroud, if you would even just entertain the remote notion that your written word that used to hold the tremendous power to sway the public, has weakened to simply thoroughly upseting a good portion of the population on most days you write; you just might not cost 81601 so much monetary loss every time you pour the ink.

Let's now look at the reported news itself and see what we can do to help the common's voices out here: 

'SandBox Nanny' has still not listened to the session or the meeting nor is she likely to.  Such a complete waste of time at this point, plus the content is likely to be disheartening.  She really does not get too many perks to her 'job' of moderating and posting.  But, one of the ones she does get is all the input and feedback from you that saves her from the often coma-inducing sitting through long, long meeting feeds.

Why don't y'all temper the reality you're forced to live,  by the major disappointment that is our economic condition in 81601 right now, with a little 'fantasy' of your own?

Think....."DDA.  Leslie Bethel.  Councilman Gamba."    

There ya go.  Because there is one absolute fact that you can count on.

Your empowerment and subsequent growth powered results is permanent.  Nowhere, ever again unless you let it, will your voices die off and 'old realities' get out of the dust cloud you've left them behind in.

Help this movement from the city to take hold.  In fact, things are so bad out here you might want to think about helping it all burst out of the gate.

(Read Stroud's piece?  Click title.  Comment to discuss)

"Truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident."

SandBox Comments: Glass Ballot Box "Blowing up Democracy with Unverifiable Elections"

A must read.

As usual, the depth of insight and the power of the information just reaches out and grabs your attention.

What started out for Marilyn Marks as a simple hometown request to view public information ballots has turned into an epic proportions battle to secure all Coloradans rights to election transparency.

Yes, a must read.

"Journalists may initially disbelieve that this story could be taking place in 21^st century Colorado, while Colorado is in the national spotlight as a 2012 swing state. However, the attached memo should provide adequate documentation of the developing situation here.  

Election officials are not only trying to roll the FOIA clock back 40 years, but far worse, many are claiming that their election processes  can trace voted ballots back to the individual voters, violating Colorado’s  constitutional guarantee of anonymous, untraceable ballots, which assure voter privacy. It is alarming that election officials in numerous counties unhesitatingly acknowledge their ability to know how individual voters voted.  Their claims are being made in an effort to promote state legislation to close down public and press access to voted ballots, on the theory that if ballots are open public documents, the press and public, (not just government insiders), will know how voters voted.

The co-authors and I hope that you will be as concerned as we are about the threats to voters’ civil rights and the  threatened dilution of the media’s first amendment rights and the public’s ability to verify its elections.   Please contact any of us for more information.

Thank you in advance for your attention to this issue."
(Marilyn Marks)

 

(Read this terrific memo?  Click title.  Comment to discuss)

"Truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident." 

SandBox Comments: Aspen Daily News "How much is your vote worth?"

"Let’s cut to the chase.

Imagine asking a politician how much he/she would pay for your vote. No worry about your party affiliation, or how you’ve voted in the past. No messy TV ads to mislead you, nor scripted robo-calls. In short, no B.S.

How much, please?

It’s not as far-fetched as you’d think. Estimates put the total amount to be spent on all 2012 U.S. elections at between $6 and $8 billion. In the 2010 off-year cycle, political spending reached $4.2 billion. Certainly you’re worth a tiny sliver of that, aren’t you? That’s a bunch of stimulus spending to spread around...."
(Dave Danforth)

(Read more?  Click title.  Comment to discuss)

"Truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident."

SandBox Comments: The Mountain Mail "New date set for ballot disclosure "

Cailey McDermott:

"To provide more time for a counter expert witness, the Dec. 1 court hearing about disclosure of 2010 voter ballots was vacated and a new date was set for 8:15 a.m. March 23.

Marilyn Marks of Aspen recently demanded ballot disclosures in Chaffee County to "make it clear that voted ballots are public records."

Chaffee County Clerk and Recorder Joyce Reno appealed the request.

Reno said voted ballots are required to be kept confidential under the Colorado Constitution and Colorado law.

Jenny Davis, county attorney, said the hearing was delayed because the county has an expert witness and Marks' attorney wanted time to obtain a counter expert witness.

Davis said the county fought the court delay and lost.

March was selected because Marks will be traveling in January and there were conflicts with the caucus in February, Davis said."

(Learn more?  Comment to discuss)

SandBox Comments: CBS Denver 4 "Steamboat Shop’s Ski Boots A Hit On The Slopes"

What an absolutely brilliant business model!

Congratulations to both Steamboat Springs for being so fortunate to have this small business join the ranks of all their other thriving folks (and) to Harry Martin and his crew at Ski & Bike Kare.

Good luck on this one!

(Read what all the excitement over in Steamboat Springs is?  Click title.)

SandBox Comments: Citizen Telegram "Working the family farm"

"NEW CASTLE — Theresa Rumery and Jared McDermott recommend rosemary, sage and thyme for a delectable holiday dinner.

And they would know. After all, Rumery and McDermott spend their days cultivating, growing and managing the fine, organic culinary herbs of Osage Gardens — one of Colorado's oldest farms west of New Castle...."
(Jenny Lavey)

(Read more?  Click title.  Comment to discuss)

SandBox Comments: Commentary Magazine/Contentions "Obama’s Claim About His Presidency and Israel: Delusional or Cynically Misleading?"

Peter Wehner:

"President Obama’s claim that “this administration has done more in terms of the security of the state of Israel than any previous administration” is not simply wrong; it is fantastically wrong. It isn’t simply that many presidents – including Truman, Reagan, and George W. Bush – were rightly considered to be far greater friends of Israel than the current occupant of the White House. It is that few presidents, and perhaps no president, has been as instinctively and operationally hostile to Israel as Obama (for more, see Jonathan’s comprehensive post here:)..."

Every American that stands with Israel should be outraged at Barack Obama's claims about his presidency and relationship with Israel. 

Lots of good op-eds on the subject but Wehner rises above today.

(Read more?  Click title. Comment to discuss)

"Truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident."

SandBox Comments: Aspen Times/Paul Nitze "Where the living is easy and conversation is hard"

"So far, so typical. If “The Descendants” goes somewhere deeper, and I think it does, it's because Payne is able to link personal character to national culture. In the film's early minutes, he has Clooney tell the audience that just because Hawaii looks like paradise, it doesn't mean Hawaiians get a pass on human nature. As exotic as it looks, Hawaii is transformed into the American main street circa 2011...."
(Paul Nitze)

Well done by Paul Nitze.  Up on the Aspen Times.

(Read more?  You should.  Click title.  Comment to discuss)

"Truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident."

SandBox Comments: Glenwood Springs Post Independent "City Council tables MEAN contract for further discussion"

'SandBox Nanny' rarely watches council meetings anymore.  She gets so much feedback from y'all that there really isn't much of a need to.  What she does do, when you are heated up about a topic is wait for the convenience of the video posting and the (fantastic, thank you so much camera guy!!) now broken out into segments live feed.  That way, she can just go see for herself what the fuss is all about.

The inserted feedback below is a mix of your feedback.  She's sat through way too many deep coma inducing sessions from old council on the battle over 'clean and green' energy in Glenwood Springs.

Email in if she's misread your emailed remarks.  Comment ability is blocked on this post.                         

John Stroud (and local comments (summarized in bold):

"...Glenwood Springs has the opportunity to develop unique energy resources such as geothermal, hydroelectric, coal-seam combustion and biomass, said former city councilman Russ Arensman....."

'Yes, it certainly does.  How long have we been at that research into all that now?  A decade or more? Where are we at, Russ?  Good thing the folks didn't rush out turn off all public utilities thinking they were going to go green for good.  Another good thing is all the folks out here who got tired of waiting and are working on biomass, geothermal and compressed natural gas because they got free of you guys and the endless talk with little to no action.'

“For you to take action that commits this city to a largely coal generation infrastructure system for the next 30 years, it's just not smart,” he said....."

'Well, that's pretty much the pot calling the kettle black.   Wonder if you guys are ever even going to read the MEAN terms and contract??  If you did, you would see that it's locked in to what can be negotiated and what cannot.  Also locked in to the fact that the folks are free to do whatever they want with clean and green alternatives.  The thing you guys can't seem to grasp is that nobody is going to pay the way for you to do that, especially MEAN.  You have to be self-sufficient.  But then most of you are lib's so we just can't wait around for you to become informed on how to not rely on government.' 

"....However, terms of the proposed “Schedule M” contract are not negotiable, Glenwood Springs Public Works Director Robin Millyard said.

The contract limits local power generation to 768 kilowatts for MEAN participants within the Xcel Energy/Public Service Company of Colorado control area, which includes Glenwood Springs and Aspen. That represents roughly 2 percent of MEAN's peak load for the area, Millyard said.

“That amount is limited under the terms of the contract,” he said. “But, there is a mechanism to advance any request we want beyond that, whether it's renewable or traditional generation.....”

'Helloooo....you group of former council people we voted out....see?  We already have the freedom to do what you want.  But MEAN is never going to pay for it like you want.'

“I agree with most of the sentiments expressed tonight,” Councilman Stephen Bershenyi said of the concerns about the ability for local generation.

“But the one thing that's missing in that is how we manage the delivery of that power,” he said. “We don't have the expertise to do that, but our MEAN partnership gives us that....”

'There's that pesky self-sufficiency and can't have it all ways on a free taxpayer ride thing again.'

".....That partnership also gives the city greater influence in promoting renewable energy resource development on a broader scale, he said, noting that MEAN's current energy portfolio includes 30 percent renewables.

“We also have a responsibility to provide energy at a reasonable, fair price,” Bershenyi said...."

'yep.  We stroke you for the millionth time on getting us the percentage we are at now and it looks like MEAN is already giving us room to grow.  Almost double where we are now and that's pretty good in our view.  Thank you very much, now will you please come back one more time and then let it all rest?' 

"....Councilman Mike Gamba said it's a question of flexibility versus cost. “Do we maintain absolute flexibility to be able to provide locally generated power, as opposed to cheaper power?..."

'boy...we sure like that new Councilman Gamba.  He even does the political two-step stroking real good.  All politics are local politics.'

(Read the article?  Click title.  Comment ability is blocked on this post)

"Truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident."

SandBox Comments: Pueblo Chieftain "Pacheco moves into city "

Pueblo City Councilman Chris Nicoll has launched a website for folks in the shadows down in the Pueblo area.

Smart politicians know that there are a couple of demographics in Colorado that one never, ever blows off.

One of them is Pueblo and the Pueblo Chieftain.

Another is Craig and the Craig Daily Press.

Still yet another is Grand Junction and the Daily Sentinel.

Up north is the Greeley Tribune and Weld County.

The folks in Pueblo are sharp avatars in commentary and they post all over the place while using the Chieftain's hub as home base. 

Smart politicians listen to them.

Chris Nicoll is such a guy and his opening himself to all access including unorthodox is a very, very smart political move.  It is also a compassionate one because things are pretty rough for the folks in Pueblo.

Hit hard with the economic ills Colorado has, they've also street-scrap fought their way back from a fairly corrupt police department that is now rapidly rising back to shining star status.  They've been hit hard in that process by hard crime victimizing them.  Having the "mother of all wars" between prosecutors and defenders in their judicial district has not helped anything.

The folks in Pueblo are trying to rise up out of  some hard hitting years and they're coming back strong.

One of the individuals still square in their sights is Pueblo City Manager Jerry Pacheco.

(Read the article?  Click title.  Comment to discuss)

"Truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident."

SandBox Comments: Pueblo Chieftain "DA, court deal with lawyer's outburst "

How far does the reach of one community's politics go?

In the case of the 10th Judicial District, statewide.

DA Bill Thiebaut and Pueblo Commissioner Jeff Chostner are in a heated and rapidly turning into a bloodbath race for District Attorney in the 10th.

Thiebaut is also the Democrat that's been taking no prisoners in the statewide congressional redistricting battle.  He's  brutally outspoken, cutthroat in his politics, far, far left in the political world and obvious to us as holding high political ambitions.

Pueblo is located in the third congressional district which is 'our' district over here in Pitkin and Garfield counties.  We all share Congressman Scott Tipton (R-Cortez).

Thiebaut, as District Attorney, started off as a very bright star for the democrats.  His tenure as D.A. in the 10th has grown to be one of the most criticized and scrutinized in the state.  Any news print, blog post statewide or radio interview holds a great deal of uncertainty that he will win against Chostner.  The race at this point, has already reached deep personal attacking and brutal exchanges.

With still a year to go before the 10th Judicial District will have peace again.

Thiebaut, in our view, is an interesting guy to try and figure out.  On one hand, he seems to have no care or concern for the integrity of how he and his staff appear to the public.  On the other hand, he seems to err on the side of caution such as in his latest decision to appoint a special prosecutor to stave off any concerns of potential mistrial.  The battle between Thiebaut, his staff and defense attorneys is epic with few to no cases running smoothly.

A fact that Republicans are all over him on as he helps lead the way in the congressional redistricting battles.

"The mother of all wars" is a saying launched by the Koch brothers a few months back.

The reference was to the Presidential election in November 2012.

We disagree.

"The mother of all wars" started some time ago and its battlefield of choice is every local political arena in the nation.

(Read the article?  Click title.  Comment to discuss)

"Truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident."

SandBox Comments: Glenwood Springs Post Independent " County cautious but interested in Silt economic development plans"

They are not "cautious".

They're stunned.

What does our beloved Silt Mayor say?

“I plead guilty to shortsightedness,” said Silt Mayor Dave Moore." 

lol.

Lordy, lordy...here we go!  Now they've done it. 

If there's anything that gets Silt revved up it's waving a red flag challenge in front of them.

Go, Dave!

(whisper...whisper...Silt's the 'folks in the shadows' capital of the world....whisper...whisper...takes a lot of guts to ignore that fact...whisper...whisper...doesn't John Martin have an election year coming?....whisper...whisper...best he be thinking about that now....we really want a grocery store....whisper...whisper....hooah.)

(Read all about this stunning development in the never ending quest to make Silt Happen? Click title.  Comment to discuss)

SandBox Comments: Grand Junction Daily Sentinel "Public offered some ice time at new Grand Junction rink"

Richie Ann Ashcraft:

"The Grand Valley Skating Center will begin limited public skate times this weekend for people interested in learning more about what the new rink has to offer.

The outdoor rink at 1130 N. Third St. has been open to league hockey and learn-to-skate members since Nov. 19.

“It’s been a huge success so far, especially for our learn-to-skate classes,” said Curt Maki, executive director for Ice Skating Inc., the nonprofit organization that runs the rink.

Interest in public skate times has been high, said Ken Walter, president of Ice Skating Inc...."

When Grand Junction was putting together the concept of an outdoor ice rink, locals in the 81601 tourism and attractions marketing district sent out the cry for what a terrific idea that is.

The case they presented in commentary through numerous regional hubs and forums was that in Glenwood Springs we would not be as constrained as Junction because we already have an indoor ice rink over at the Community Center that serves sporting venues.

The ideas were terrific. 

Two Rivers Park could handle an outdoor venue for the general public.  Think Rockefeller Center in NY.

Tastefully done, well lit with seasonal ability.  Up on the I-70 side so that it would be visible to passing traffic year-round.  Lots of parking and space for events, even if the city and county ever get off the dime and implement even a few of the suggestions for improving Two Rivers Park into revenue generating venues.

And here's the funny thing.

The whole thing could be paid for with lottery proceeds that fund Parks and Rec.

How did the sitting council at the time meet the concept?  With a yawn.  How did our local newspaper  keep the voices raised and heard?  They didn't.  Instead, they blocked voices and prevented the sharing of dialog.

What a shame that locals now have another reason to head west.

Besides minor league baseball they can now afford to take the family ice-skating in a beautiful outdoor venue.

(Learn more?  Click title.  Comment to discuss)

"Truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident."

SandBox Comments: Summit Daily News "Summit Up 12-3-11: Where it's colder'n a Norse god in brass undies"

Sigh....so it begins.

There is nothing worse than a bunch of Coloradans facing a cold temperature winter with not as much snow as they like.

Summit Up:
"Good morning and welcome to Summit Up, the world's only daily column that's a little annoyed about Ullr right now. Did you hear he visited Denver (cough! gasp! ugh!) the other day and didn't bother to pop by Summit County? Instead, we just got a visit from Vespawicz, the Norse god of freezing-ass cold. Riding on a pair of gi-normous polar bears, Vespawicz wears an iron jock and has 3-foot icicles hanging off his ears. With his breath, he can turn hot magma into rocks, and from his second home in Blue River, he has a radio show named Brass Bra devoted exclusively to talking about ways to describe cold. Let's have a listen:

"Vespawicz here from the frozen land of Blue River, with another frigid installment of Brass Bra. Well, it's colder'n a well-digger's ass out there today, very parky indeed. Reminds me of that time I visited my relative Ugg up in Saskatchewan. Man, if there's one thing that's cold it's the toilet seat in an igloo!"

(lol.  Read more?  Are you really sure?  Well then, click title.  Comment to discuss)